Harassment can make you a social outcast period. If you do nothing about the harassment those around you might sympathise, but they will in time learn to ignore it and treat it as a common day to day occurrence. If you take action against the harasser, school, or place of employment, you might find that you are ostracized, and retaliated against in many unfair ways.
Socially you might not be invited out to group or social activities, you might be shunned during daily school, or work place events. People who associate with you will be singled out with peer pressure to stop the association. People around you will tell the most demeaning and degrading lies about you.
You might find that your family and friends think you are over-reacting and fail to offer support on any level. They may even be the very ones who turn against you, if they become affected by the harassment through your job loss, or dropping out of school. They may be angry at having to help you out.
From: http://www.targetedindividuals.com
2 comments:
These articles help so much - I am now too exhausted to find my own words - the emotional words and the conceptual framework - to describe and understand what is happening to me.... but I can borrow the words and concepts from these articles....
...these articles provide the emotional language and the academic language - the words of others who have written the articles validate my experiences over all these years... I find the mix of emotional and academic language so powerful... too much emotional language and you drown....
... if you are being bullied - read these articles... then use them to write about what is happening to you... the academic frameworks are great... it feels good to write about this as an academic
... then it also helps to release the rage to read this article on the societal effects which describe the rape of bullying - this was a word I used when describing my experience to someone in my university - I said it felt like being raped over and over and over again.... this article describes this experience... it validates it for me... it gives me the confidence to articulate it .... again...
I FEEL LIKE I AM BEING RAPED.......
...my fear is that I cannot get anyone to understand the prolonged rape that is workplace bullying.... and I read that this is not just my fear... it is a recognised fear of those who feel that they are are bullied... like rape victims you feel degraded, demeaned, debased, humiliated and embarrassed...
... and yet... this description feels to me like 'over the top'
... and yet it is how I feel if I allow what is happening to me to penetrate too deeply... rape is physical... bullying is psychological and emotional rape ... it is far more subtle than physical rape.. it can be done in full view of everyone in the university... and then denied... that is why the bullying that some academics engage in is so destructive... so harmful...
... I go into my university and face those who I feel continue to rape me.....
.. and then you've lost it... listen to her... she's crazy... and the character asassination begins again.. as they have proof that you are clearly unstable...
... I mean who on earth says that bullying is like being raped....
... the 'cross level model' from Hearnes and Harvey has helped me in formulating my grievance and moving it to an institutional context....
...institutional rape is serious... particularly if it has lasted for years and years.. it is all about bringing you to your knees emotionally.... most bullies know what they are doing... they are out to take away who you are....
... listen to her there she goes again...
.... the more that is written about bullying from an academic perspective the more the experience can be validated and named and understood...
... and you have to fight so hard not to close down and tune out... it takes a superhuman effort... particularly after the rapes that go on and on...
... can't someone get rid of this ranting woman....
In solidarity and grateful thanks for those who keep this blog going so magnificently...
... it must be that time of year when we say.... happy birthday.....
Aphra Behn
The bullying-rape analogy is apt and has occurred to me too. The psychological effects are similar, and there is no law to turn to. Metaphorically speaking - you're fucked.
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