I’ve been
teaching at a local community college for over 10 years. It’s a generally good
campus with a diverse student population and I always planned on retiring from
this campus.
One issue I’ve
dealt with since I started was challenging students- and the behaviors are
escalating. I’m a younger, very petite female. I have a high voice and like to
wear nerdy science shirts and jewelry. But I run my classroom with strict
standards of behavior and academic integrity. I teach an Allied Health
pre-requisite class and am the coordinator of all the sections of my subject. I
take my role as the lead instructor seriously and maintain high standards and a
pretty “no-nonsense” attitude.
For the longest
time I figured the (primarily) male students who challenge my authority in
classroom, the snide comments, and online anonymous hate comments from “Rate My
Professor” were just the cost of being a teacher in college. Sometimes I would
even write it off as a cultural issue due to our diverse student population
because many of my male students come from patriarchal cultures. The level of
disrespect has been one I thought I SHOULD tolerate- it never kept me up at
night, I never had anyone physically threaten, so I didn’t worry. (Notice how I
just accepted the harassment and never even considered that it was a problem? I
continually ask myself now where that attitude came from.)
Last year I had
one student who I nicknamed to my friends as “ugh, the Thorn in My Side” (due
to confidentiality we do not use any identifying features about students- even
when venting to non-teacher friends). He walked in with an air of indifference.
He challenged my comments in class. He did not work with a study group in lab.
His lab questions were always along the line of “Why do I have to do it this
way?” I just figured he was a difficult student and that once he finished my
class he’d go away. He often left lab early, and I would breathe a sigh of
relief because I could teach without worry of challenge again during open lab
time.
As the semester
progressed two issues arose, that I didn’t document because I didn’t know
better: the student was not passing and the student’s passive-aggressive
attitude escalated. He would show to office hours, which I held in my tutoring
center, and be extremely unpleasant to me and my tutors (in retrospect…only my
female tutors reported problems with him). It got to the point that I dreaded
my office hours. I made them by appointment only. I didn’t tell anyone why. I
figured that as long as I kept up my office hours that I was OK, and really the
only student coming in with “questions” (i.e., complaints about my teaching,
content, rigor) was this one male. His comments were often challenges to my
grading because I have a strict spelling policy and state “if I cannot read
your writing I cannot assign you credit”.
Near the end of
the semester I offered a replacement final exam to help students boost scores.
The rules were clear: sign up to take the exam. The student did not sign up,
but sent me a rude, challenging e-mail stating that he wanted to take the test.
When I reiterated my policy I finally thought “Eh, I should contact my
department chair. This student has caused me a lot of trouble”. After the
stress this student had put me through I figured a heads up e-mail would be
enough to keep me covered in case he complained to the chair.
The guidelines in
my syllabus, which follow school procedures, are that students who have grade
complaints try to resolve the issue with me first (with a witness in the
meeting), then go up the chain of command (department chair, Dean, etc.). If a
student has an issue other than grades the student contacts the Dean of Student
Affairs.
I found out that
the student wrote every member of our Governing Board and the Chancellor. His
letter was full of veiled threats against me and the school that were clearly
written to intimidate us and bully me into submission for changing his grade.
Because the threats were basically public relations types of issues, nothing to
assume physical attacks or property damage, the student was referred to
administration.
Administration
failed to follow the guidelines set forth in the syllabus and student code of
conduct. The Dean and Vice President met with the student. They did not notify
the department chair. I was then queried, several times, via e-mail and in
person by the Dean regarding my class and its policies. I supplied all of my
documentation in the class. I supplied my syllabus and asked if the student had
been referred back to me per my syllabus policy. I never got answers to that
question.
For the next 6
weeks I kept getting e-mails about this student. The VP and President got
involved to meet with the student (at least twice that I know of). I was never
contacted by either of those administrators. I felt that I had to prove myself
to these people, and that they had no vested interest in defending me as a
faculty member. None of the administrators involved are experts in Allied
Health. The only one who has ever seen me instruct is the Dean- who assigns me
top marks in my peer evaluation. I have some of the highest student evaluation
scores that I know of from talking with colleague- despite my reputation for
rigor. None of this was ever discussed. The Dean, instead, looked up my
attrition rates and said they “weren’t great”. He told me in person that if
this were for another subject- math or physics- my attrition rates would not be
so bad. I felt as if my entire reputation was being set by this one complaint
that was handled out of due process and without any personal involvement by me.
And I was told be the Dean that at the end of each meeting the student’s query
was the same – could I be forced to change his grade to passing?
I started to feel
sad. I cried a lot, wasn’t sleeping, and wasn’t eating. I know my teaching
suffered. I was more terse with my students and didn’t have the energy to run
my classroom with the same enthusiasm as I normally would. I remember going out
to a Halloween event and just leaking tears in the car the whole way, then
being thankful we were in a dark environment because I just cried all evening.
I started having
panic attacks and canceled some classes. This, of course, made things worse
because I was already feeling like a bad teacher and then I felt like I was
failing even more. I wrote a resignation letter and started looking into
admissions criteria for a DPT program. I told my husband that I had to get out.
Every time my
campus e-mail pinged on my computer my heart would race and my stomach would
ache. I was just waiting for another e-mail asking me to document my
professional worth against this single student. (To this day I have not heard
personally from the administration, except the Dean, regarding this issue. I
have been in meetings with them both, and feel bad about myself. I feel that
they will never hold me in respect over this incident. When I have spoken in
meetings with them I honestly feel that they are not listening to my comments.)
I sought
professional help. My therapist diagnosed me with adjustment disorder
(situational depression) and anxiety. I went on beta blockers to help me deal
with the elevated blood pressure and tachycardia that seemed to affect me all
the time. My therapist asked who else on campus I had spoken with. “No one,” I
answered. She stated that my case seemed to be one of contrapower harassment
and encouraged me to speak out. I had never heard of contrapower harassment and
so I started becoming an internet junky for the topic.
I contacted my
department chair. The department chair was livid that I had been treated this
way. The department chair told me I should have come forward sooner, that I
would have been supported from the beginning. I didn’t expect that. I felt so
much stress and shame that I could not handle this problem on my own, and I
felt powerless because the head administrators in the school have been
dismissive of me.
My department
chair contacted our union. They also advised me speak with the Dean of Student
Affairs because I did say I felt harassed. When I spoke with the Dean and
explained the situation the Dean said there was really nothing that could be
done. The Dean said the student was being mean and must have been aware of what
he was doing, but that really he had not broken any rules in the Student Code
of Conduct! When I pointed out the student had not passed my class and that he
might retake (I was concerned he would do it out of spite) I was told my only
recourse was to switch sections if I saw him on my rosters. Where is my
protection in this situation? That is how it stands at our school today- if a
teacher feels harassed by a student (that is not physical or sexual) then all
the teacher can do is be vigilant on the roster and surreptitiously switch the
teaching assignment to avoid the student.
I don’t know what
our union representatives did or said, but eventually the e-mails stopped. My
last e-mail was a forwarded response from the Dean. The President wrote the
student with a “final” response to his complaints and basically apologized to
the student for his experience in my classroom.
I know the
student is still on campus. I saw him walking across the quad last semester. I
almost had a panic attack and turned immediately to walk the other way. It’s
all I can do.
There are some
lingering effects… I don’t trust my administration. My heart still jumps a
little when my work e-mail comes in. I worry that this student will be allowed
to haunt me for a very long time. And the resignation letter, with this brief
summary of the hell I went through for 3 months, sit in a folder on my desktop.
Anonymous
