University Administrators

In 1997, Hector Hammerly set down a long list of characterizations of university administrators. Below are ten of them.

These administrators, Hammerly said:

1. Put their pants on one leg at a time, like everybody else, but think it would be demeaning to acknowledge it;
   
   
2. Know as much about planning, budgeting, human relations, and conflict resolution as a pit bull;
   
   
3. Have "zero tolerance" for others and total tolerance for themselves;
   
   
4. Listen to professors attentively and graciously, like a cat listens to a canary;
   
   
5. Believe there's no need for any democratic nonsense between rubber-stamp ballots;
   
   
6. See "leadership" as looking down upon, sitting on top of, and stepping all over;
   
   
7. Always support each other against those they fancy their "enemy" — faculty, staff, and students, no less;
   
   
8. Have policies for every conceivable situation and regulations for every conceivable activity, but ignore them all when convenient;
   
   
9. Are power-addicted, fairness-innocent, apology-challenged, and freedom-averse;
   
   
10. Cow faculty members into not helping each other — which would be the professors' only hope for shaking off the yoke.
    

From: http://arts.uwaterloo.ca/~kwesthue/hhammerly.htm

And, we had an anonymous contribution for number 11:

11. Establish and maintain a network of informants amongst the staff to not only report on dissenters but also apprentice as future administrators.

Do we have any contributions for number 12?