We are a group of current and former staff members or students of the University of Ulster who have been treated in the most unacceptable manner by the UU management. We come from different areas and levels of the university, and while our cases are separate from each other, we all have been targeted and systematically victimised by UU in very similar ways.
Methods employed by the management include lack of documentation (e.g. no minutes are kept at meetings), violating its own charter and Statutes and regulations (eg. probation guidelines, deadlines for appeal hearings or grievances), violating the Data Protection Act (not responding to FOI requests, responding past the 40 day deadline, or withholding vital information), using UKBA guidelinse and visa rules to harass or get rid of staff, searching email and expense accounts, inventing evidence that is used against staff members in disciplinary hearings, deleting records, threats and character assassination.
If you have had similar experiences at UU, please contact us at: UUVictims.association@gmail.com
Our aims and demands:
1. the cases of victimisation by UU presented here need to be investigated by an external, independent organisation;
2. the people responsible for violation of the law or the rules and regulations of UU need to be brought to justice;
3. staff members and students that have suffered detriment because of this unlawful treatment need to be compensated for their losses.
More info: https://www.facebook.com/pages/University-of-Ulster-Victims-Association/1614149405477420
January 29, 2015
January 21, 2015
Bullying, hollow men, complicity, and hope
When I reflect on this issue of bullying one thought returns time and time again. How is it that a person can take the time and dedication to drum another person out of their job, by (frequently) finding points of vulnerability, lying and destroying their reputation, invoking procedures against them, and all the other array of small mechanisms of power with which we are all now familiar with in academia and indeed society. The process whereby one individual is bullied by another has of course been written about by the wonderful (and deceased) Tim Field and others. This blog site also looks at changing institutional contexts. Yet sometime I wonder whether the constant focus on victimisation is depressing and locates one in a downward narrative of loss - loss of jobs, loss of security, loss of mental health, even, as this blog points out, loss of life. Further, I have also been forced to consider whether the focus on the term ‘bullying’ compounds this narrative?
What are we really looking at when we use the term bullying? One fruitful way of thinking about it is recent literature on psychopathy. Critics often like to criticise Robert Hare (author of Without Conscience and Snakes in Suits) for pathologising so-called psychopathic behaviours, yet he performed an exceptionally useful task of highlighting an archetype and pointing out their capacity for destruction. Psychopaths aren’t the American Psycho; rather they are that person who, in sometimes a very low key way, plots, lies and cuts a swathe through peoples lives and emotional security without being burdened by a conscience about it. They do it because they can, because you get in their way, because you threaten them in some way. They are the person that makes the hairs rise up on the back of your neck, who you unconsciously perhaps try to avoid because you get a creepy feeling whenever you see them. Again, Tim Field has been great at highlighting the spectre of the workplace psychopathic bully.
Yet does it explain how so many seem to be involved, as currently seems to be the case in academia? Is it that somehow universities are ideal stalking grounds for psychopaths currently? Possibly, given that they are drawn to places of turmoil, over-bureaucracy and punitivity, as Hare points out. However not every bully is the archetypal psychopathic bully. Most of them seem quite normal in all other respects. Many people are a bit messed up, of course, but that’s not the same as being a psychopath. Another way of looking at this is how do people as a group get drawn into bullying behaviours, despite otherwise being pleasant and reasonable? Janice Harper’s brilliant account of mobbing, understood through a close examination of genocidal behaviours, reveals a process whereby people who are on the margins of bullying behaviour (for example, being in a department where bullying takes place) are encouraged by the bully to betray themselves and thereby begin a process in which their conscience is compromised. I think this goes some way to explain how others are drawn into the psychodynamic of bullying, how it becomes ingrained. Moreover, how it can be so brutal. She points out that in genocides, the main function of the mass killing is to stop people who you have expropriated ever showing their face again.
I was recently drawn to read more about the trial of Adolf Eichmann in Jerusalem, famously reported in 1961 by Hannah Arendt though articles in the New York Times and her book Eichmann in Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil. Arendt makes the point that Eichmann was nothing, he was a bureaucrat. He was unable to think about what he was doing intentionally, and a person who doesn’t think is unable to act with conscience. Martha Gellhorn, writing for the Atlantic Monthly in 1962, uses the phrase ‘hollow man’ to describe Eichmann. These descriptions of the person without conscience as nothing, as hollow, are powerful because they point out the dangers of not inhabiting your self, instead handing over all responsibility to another. Eichmann’s depictions himself as ‘simply following orders’ inspired a generation of social theorists, too countless to name here, to investigate this ‘organisational man’ potentially at the heart of us all, unless we force ourselves, as Arendt says, to think and therefore be human. It is also powerful because applied as an understanding of power and how it operates in the university, it is possible to say that your average bully is indeed a ‘hollow man’ (or woman). There is simply nothing there. However it also implies an imperative for all to speak out; the alternative being that we all become unable to think, to be ‘hollow’.
There has been some good writing recently on the marketisation and commercialisation of high education, McGettigan’s book (The Great University Gamble) being one of them. Yet sometimes, good economic analyses can unwittingly become part of the ‘done to us’ narrative rather than serve as a basis for resistance. Sometimes a simpler message suffices and one that spoke to me recently (and to many others apparently, as it went viral) was ‘On the phenomenon of bullshit jobs’ by LSE Professor David Graeber (http://strikemag.org/bullshit-jobs/). Applied to academia, the message is simply this: they (and by they I mean the senior managers, politicians, middle management, and their ilk) hate you because you think, produce, teach, that your job isn’t about pushing paper, sending emails, or creating fake and pointless structural changes. Academics downplay what they do, but they can be hugely influential. Just look at Howard Becker, Erving Goffman and others, who engaged with or worked alongside the 1960s counterculture and played their part in changing how we think.
So is it in fact not true to say that management and politicians are engaging in a very long war of attrition against academics and the concept of the university itself. Further, if it is a war, then one has to study the mechanics of the war. One of those mechanisms of war is bullying, which serves several functions: it gets rid of particular individuals who somehow more resistant or speak out, it spreads fear amongst the others who see the individual crumbling under the weight of personal and reputational attack, and finally it encourages people to morally compromise themselves by turning on the target. Looked at from this perspective, the victim and perpetrator are engaged in a battle. So what weapons does the ‘victim’ have, when they are confined in the enemy camp?
So where does the issue of the failure of the moral imperative, of will, and as Arendt says, a failure to think, lie in this war? In response to the obliteration of academic freedom through the RAE/REF, because that is what it is, we academics (and I’ve done this myself, so I’m not casting stones) duly comply and fret about out citation count. Isn’t it ironic that, despite the fact that academics are assessed by citation count, we don’t allow readers to vote with their feet; rather we are subject to the phenomenon of the anonymous review, the gatekeeper of intellectual production?
Do any of us ever complain about the overproduction of research and ideas in academia, particularly in journals, time that could be better spend educating, writing thoughtful and groundbreaking books developed through a decade of scholarship, making creative use of social media, forming alliances between society’s growing but marginalised intellectual class? Privately, perhaps, but it has no consequence, because failure to produce is internalised as a private failure and shame.
Do we ever complain, really complain, about the treatment of students as cash cows who are then disposed of in a criminally negligent way by universities who do not teach them properly, thus destroying the whole principle of a degree; no, we shrug, often turn our ire on the students, and bury our heads in research that no-one will ever read. I will say it again, was there ever a more pointless way to expend one’s creative and emotional energy than writing a journal article?
We don’t complain or speak out, because we are complicit in it. All these issues, and more besides, are the source of the power the mindless bureaucracy has over thinking people, the weapons they attack us with.
The point of this is of course not to castigate academics, nor to add to that already ingrained and institutionally imposed private shame. As this site shows people want to speak up, yet they feel they have to do so anonymously. Isn’t it ironic that the traditional ‘guardians of enlightenment’ cannot speak up openly about what is happening lest they be forced out of their jobs? Further, as Doris Lessing says in her essay ‘Prisons we Choose to Live Inside’, it’s hard to see the prison bars when you are locked within its reality. When you become an academic, you are compelled on a path reinforced by continual stress, in which you never have the time or mental space to ask, is this what I wanted, or this this right?
No, the purpose of saying all of this is a call to arms (metaphorically, of course…); it is time to shrug off reputational shame or the (rapidly diminishing) status drug, call the institution, in the words of RD Laing, mad and point out that it wants to make us mad, stop following the lead of those hollow men and women, and start saying no. It’s tempting to quote Marx here and say that there is nothing to lose but your chains, but that’s not exactly true. The point is, it’s worthwhile consciously calculating the various losses – financial, yes, but also emotional and intellectual - of sticking around to be tortured, but it’s also useful to calculate the gains of leaving in those terms. The point is, if you truly care about the importance of ideas to the self and to society, then there are many people outside of academia are trying to find ways of writing and conveying ideas with integrity. There is hope. Maybe it’s time to join them.
Anonymous
January 08, 2015
There will be no resignations at Imperial...
There will be no resignations at Imperial over the passing of Prof Grimm
and his managers are so tied into the system that they will not, I can
assure you, even at this moment, be feeling any personal guilt.
These creatures are so committed to the processes which they managed, and so utterly lacking in any personal principles or self-respect they simply regard us, sniping from the outside, as the deviants.
I refer to two recent high profile suicides at Ulster- Prof Stephen Livingstone, a brilliant lawyer at QUB who was bullied over grant income- and Prof Jim Bell, a superb business teacher at UU- tortured by management during a long sick-leave with clinical depression.
In Jim's case, Jim had shared an office with President Dicky when they were both junior staff... which shows how little Dicky cares even about his own buddies. No-one officially from the university even attended Jim's funeral and his wife was further annoyed by UU a week later to clear out Jim's office...
This managerial cadre does not have a heart... more staff suicides will come...
Academics are a high risk group as there are so many good people in the academic community who take it too seriously.
Anonymous
These creatures are so committed to the processes which they managed, and so utterly lacking in any personal principles or self-respect they simply regard us, sniping from the outside, as the deviants.
I refer to two recent high profile suicides at Ulster- Prof Stephen Livingstone, a brilliant lawyer at QUB who was bullied over grant income- and Prof Jim Bell, a superb business teacher at UU- tortured by management during a long sick-leave with clinical depression.
In Jim's case, Jim had shared an office with President Dicky when they were both junior staff... which shows how little Dicky cares even about his own buddies. No-one officially from the university even attended Jim's funeral and his wife was further annoyed by UU a week later to clear out Jim's office...
This managerial cadre does not have a heart... more staff suicides will come...
Academics are a high risk group as there are so many good people in the academic community who take it too seriously.
Anonymous
January 06, 2015
Imperial College London: Why has no one resigned? Possibly because we are all culpable?
Although there is quite a lot of published correspondence on this case (from and to Professor Grimm, and about him), it is unlikely that we will ever know the full story. Corridor conversations and backroom chats leave a scant evidential trail.
If a member of staff commits suicide because of pressure of work one would expect that workplace to ask serious questions about its practices and culture. One might even, from the point of view of human decency, expect a few resignations. After all, a human life has been finished and the suicide victim makes a direct link between his impending suicide and pressure from work. But, to the best of my knowledge, no one has resigned. A human being is dead. The blame lies at the door of the University. The University … well … continues as normal. So how can this be the case?
The primary answer lies in the fiction that Universities manage to create that they are systems rather than amalgams of people. Universities, through the prioritisation of a set of bureaucratic norms and officer-holders, have normalised the view that they are top-down corporate entities. A managerial class has always played a role in modern universities, but this class has grown in size and influence as universities have been forced to compete in a series of markets. By competing for students, research income, high achieving staff, and ‘impact stories’ a series of pernicious political economies have been created. Rather than collegiate environments based on scholarship, learning and creating space for innovation and thinking, many universities are being reduced to sales offices with academics serving as clerks for a new managerial class who wield coercive metrics.
The complex structure of universities – multiple committees and chains of command – means that very many of us are implicated in a coercive bureaucracy that is based on incentives and threats (that are often veiled but nonetheless real). By complying with very basic activities (such as uploading lists of our publications on University databases) we are fuelling the metrics that are then used to govern us. That is the pernicious thing about the system – we are all part of it. In the case of Stefan Grimm, it is convenient to look for individuals to blame (and I still hold out hope that human decency might spark a few resignations) but the real aggressor here is a system that we have all contributed to. We probably have bitched about it and groaned, but we have contributed to its construction and maintenance. We have been far too meek in pointing out the irrelevance of committees, metrics and placeholders to the real business of teaching, research and sharing creativity.
I have heard a few horror stories in recent weeks (from other universities) about how younger members of staff have been shouted at for not bringing in research income, and about how some staff members’ time has been bought out by 250% (surely illegal!). In cases like this, we can point to shoddy practice by individual managers – and hopefully they can be faced down as bullies. But the wider problem seems to be the system. We may not like the system, but we maintain it.
So what to do? I do not have a grand manifesto (but am all ears if anyone has one). Instead, I look at my own practice and the very small acts of resistance that I carry out. The first is not to take too seriously the managerial class and the narrative they perpetuate. Yes, we all have responsibilities in a collegiate environment, but my primary responsibility is to students and research – not necessarily to corporate goals. I will avoid listing the precise everyday resistance strategies that I use with the bureaucracy (I don’t want to get into trouble) but the general approach of not taking bureaucracy and bureaucrats too seriously seems to work. The second very small act of resistance is to try to encourage younger scholars to follow their own intellectual curiosity. Grants and publications will follow more readily than if they try to game the system by mechanistically targeting grants and ‘prestige’ journals. The third is to call undue pressure by one colleague on another what it is: bullying.
From: http://rogermacginty.com/2014/12/09/imperial-college-london-why-has-no-one-resigned-possibly-because-we-are-all-culpable/
January 02, 2015
Who Gets Targeted
...research findings from our year 2000 study
and conversations with thousands of targets have confirmed that targets
appear to be the veteran and most skilled person in the workgroup.
Targets are independent. They refuse to be subservient. Bullies seek to enslave targets. When targets take steps to preserve their dignity, their right to be treated with respect, bullies escalate their campaigns of hatred and intimidation to wrest control of the target's work from the target.
Targets are more technically skilled than their bullies. They are the "go-to" veteran workers to whom new employees turn for guidance. Insecure bosses and co-workers can't stand to share credit for the recognition of talent. Bully bosses steal credit from skilled targets.
Targets are better liked, they have more social skills, and quite likely possess greater emotional intelligence. They have empathy (even for their bullies). Colleagues, customers, and management (with exception to the bullies and their sponsors) appreciate the warmth that the targets bring to the workplace.
Targets are ethical and honest. Some targets are whistleblowers who expose fraudulent practices. Every whistleblower is bullied. Targets are not schemers or slimy con artists. They tend to be guileless. The most easily exploited targets are people with personalities founded on a prosocial orientation -- a desire to help, heal, teach, develop, nurture others.
Targets are non-confrontive. They do not respond to aggression with aggression. (They are thus morally superior.) But the price paid for apparent submissiveness is that the bully can act with impunity (as long as the employer also does nothing)...
From: http://www.workplacebullying.org/individuals/problem/who-gets-targeted/
Targets are independent. They refuse to be subservient. Bullies seek to enslave targets. When targets take steps to preserve their dignity, their right to be treated with respect, bullies escalate their campaigns of hatred and intimidation to wrest control of the target's work from the target.
Targets are more technically skilled than their bullies. They are the "go-to" veteran workers to whom new employees turn for guidance. Insecure bosses and co-workers can't stand to share credit for the recognition of talent. Bully bosses steal credit from skilled targets.
Targets are better liked, they have more social skills, and quite likely possess greater emotional intelligence. They have empathy (even for their bullies). Colleagues, customers, and management (with exception to the bullies and their sponsors) appreciate the warmth that the targets bring to the workplace.
Targets are ethical and honest. Some targets are whistleblowers who expose fraudulent practices. Every whistleblower is bullied. Targets are not schemers or slimy con artists. They tend to be guileless. The most easily exploited targets are people with personalities founded on a prosocial orientation -- a desire to help, heal, teach, develop, nurture others.
Targets are non-confrontive. They do not respond to aggression with aggression. (They are thus morally superior.) But the price paid for apparent submissiveness is that the bully can act with impunity (as long as the employer also does nothing)...
From: http://www.workplacebullying.org/individuals/problem/who-gets-targeted/
January 01, 2015
Typical... As for UCU...
I would just like to add here my own experience.
Recently I won an unfair dismissal case against the University of Essex. I was dismissed, because I submitted a claim for permanency having worked there for over 5 years continuously on a sequence of 19 fixed-term contracts.
No procedure was followed, I was not granted any right during dismissal. I was not even informed about the reason for it. This made my dismissal unfair already. Regarding the reason, the key evidence was an email in which an HR Officer advised the Head of my Department as follows:
"X is pursuing her case for permanency... Was the intention that she would teach modules in the next academic year? I would advise against this if possible as ongoing teaching of modules each academic year can lead to claims for permanent employment."
This advice on its own is a clear cut breach of the law (Fixed-term Regulations). I represented myself in the case, since UCU recommended that I should settle with the University, i.e. accept their bribe.
Since the University lost this case at the Employment Tribunal, the HR Officer sending the above email has been promoted to become an HR Manager. I have not heard anything and have not met anyone from the University since. It seems that I have been wiped out of history from their point of view.
Anonymous
Recently I won an unfair dismissal case against the University of Essex. I was dismissed, because I submitted a claim for permanency having worked there for over 5 years continuously on a sequence of 19 fixed-term contracts.
No procedure was followed, I was not granted any right during dismissal. I was not even informed about the reason for it. This made my dismissal unfair already. Regarding the reason, the key evidence was an email in which an HR Officer advised the Head of my Department as follows:
"X is pursuing her case for permanency... Was the intention that she would teach modules in the next academic year? I would advise against this if possible as ongoing teaching of modules each academic year can lead to claims for permanent employment."
This advice on its own is a clear cut breach of the law (Fixed-term Regulations). I represented myself in the case, since UCU recommended that I should settle with the University, i.e. accept their bribe.
Since the University lost this case at the Employment Tribunal, the HR Officer sending the above email has been promoted to become an HR Manager. I have not heard anything and have not met anyone from the University since. It seems that I have been wiped out of history from their point of view.
Anonymous
December 21, 2014
President Dicky’s Christmas Message
This
will be my last seasonal message to you as your Dictator at Bulster
University, those of you who are still lucky enough to be employed, and
in celebration of that positive thought I encourage you to give thanks
in the University Chapel every day. For those of you who have been
pointed or even dragged screaming, feet-first, to redundancy, early
retirement or have fallen ill in service this year, I want you to see it
as a new door that had opened for you, and return all Bulster
property before our security team summarily escort you off the premises.
It
has been a hard year for Bulster. Things have not quite worked out with
DEL and thanks to government cut-backs we are running a bit short of
money and students. We are having a few difficulties with our “Build
Belfast” campaign and those pesky property moguls keep upping the
“bakseesh” on us. I’ve even started to get worried about my own
properties and doubt I’ll ever get tenants for them. And even worse, the
Saudis owe us £2 million which I was relying on for a few readies at
Christmas, and many of Bulster’s emerging market investments have just
not emerged! In fact things are so bad I think I can now appreciate what
happened to my old friend Gerry Jameson, and I hope you can sympathise
how distressing it is for those of us in power when things go a bit
pear-shaped.
The great thing is that at Bulster, we are all in this together and we are all making sacrifies to try to get Bulster back on its feet, and ready for your new dictator, sorry I mean new President. I myself have been making personal cut-backs. Where possible I’ve been making do with upper class rather than a sky-suite unless its a particularly long flight. I never use a hotel with more than 5*- no 7* opulent palaces for me, fellow Bulsters! Bulster never quite recovered from that time Gerry spent 25k on a weekend with the girls a la Peninsula in Hong Kong! And you can appreciate the great saving on booze alone during my time compared with Gerry has allowed us to put a penny or two by! Every little helps!
I
know some of you have been worried about the amount of money we’ve been
spending on legal bills and employment tribunals and this kind of
thing. Personally I think it would be far cheaper if we could just
assassinate these dissident members of staff, and an old mate I used to
run into in the Lodge Hotel even told me he knew a few boys who had quit
the paramilitary racket and were going free-lance. But my henchman “Mad
Bonnie” whose had a bit of a run in with the peelers recently himself,
tells me a shooting or two on campus might not look so good for our
post-conflict institute, so he’s persuaded me instead that selective
internment might be the thing to deal with these niggly complainers!
Those
of you who might be inclined to think of my past decade as a bit of a
black time, might take sympathy from what those CIA fellows said
recently defending torture and counter-terrorism. When Gerry blew the
budget on us, we all had our own terrible 9/11 here at University House.
Desperate times demand desperate remedies. And I also want to tell you
that all those stories about water-boarding and electric torture in the
Tower basement were greatly exaggerated. I never authorised “Mad Bonnie”
to use anything stronger than knuckle-dusters and in extremis his University-issued taser. Gee thanks to “Mad Bonnie” and me, Bulster’s a walking PANORAMA investigative report waiting to happen!
And
let me just squash that rumour that I’d closed the SCR to turn it into a
“listening post”. Don’t believe everything those lefty no-gooders in
the union might tell you. Most of them need a good kick up the arse!
Anyways we needed the SCR for all those Arab fellows with their special
diets, only they aren’t coming any more….I thought once they gave me a
magic carpet and a Rolex we were best mates, I even read a bit of the Quran in anticipation…Now they aren’t even answering my calls…..
Christmas
always makes me feel emotional. It hardly seems like yesterday that I
led the palace coup, and was full of excitement in my early days of
dictatorship. Believe me it gets lonely at the top. I spend far too much
time with “Mad Bonnie” and he really smells kinda garlicly of Sodium pentothal and
that other “truth serom” stuff he must have down there in the Bulster
dungeons. That banking fellow on Council is too smart for his own boots,
and Jimmy never returns my calls either. I suppose he might be off
somewhere on a Hobbit movie.
Recently
I’ve been asking myself what I’ve got to show for it? True I’ve had a
fat pay-packet for a while, a nice pad, luxury foreign travel and I’ve a
bit of pension for a rainy day- yeah a few millions worth! But QUB
laughed at me when I put in for their vacancy and to be honest I haven’t
made the short-list anywhere else. In fact I didn’t even get a reply
when I inquired about heading up a miserly FE college. And those buggers
in Stormont have blocked me from getting any medals, never mind a gong.
Even my cleaner has an MBE for some shitty Ballysally Community
initiative, and here I am a hard-working dictator and no-one’s thought
to award me anything.
Didn’t
my fellow dictator, President Idi Amin, have all sorts of medallions on
his uniform and wasn’t he just a humble Ugandan soldier? I’m wondering
if I should follow Idi’s example and go off into exile in one of those
Arab states. Maybe the Saudis would offer me some kind of retirement
post in lieu of the £2 Million they still owe Bulster! Life is
so hard for former dictators- I’m just remembering what happened to
that dead Chilean President, General Pinochet - it got to the stage where
he couldn’t leave the country for fear of rendition to some foreign
court in handcuffs! Gee I might end up like “Mad Bonnie” being
questioned by the local police or being stopped at the airport!
And
now I’m gonna have to get used to a life without servants and waiters
and all the perks that go with having a University Mansion. I’m gonna
have to down-size badly and maybe put some stuff into storage,
especially those Arab rugs and things- they’re so bulky, and not maybe
my best memory of good old Bulster! Gotta get things ready for the new
man…..Succession-planning we modern dictators call it. Better try to
make a start with that at the Christmas hols. “Bonnie’s” kindly offered
to lend me a hand if he’s out of work by then, and Dean Raisin gave me a
cup of tea and a bun yesterday- its good to have friends... now its only
me and the dog.
And talking about dogs! I just can’t understand why thev’ve all gone and bitten me as I thought I was a good master. I was only just chatting to a few of the union boys in BA’s lounge last week (terrible the riff raff they let in these days) and we agreed it was all down to a couple of loud-mouths. After all Olly and the others bought the union off a long time ago. There’s hardly a true socialist among them apart maybe from that ideological girlie, and the union heavies have muscled her. Now even the footballers hate me and there’s talk the entire staff will boycott my farewell do, apart from of course “Bonnie” but he might have to get day-release to attend.
Well
I’d better get on with the rest of my Christmas cards. Let me sign off
now with Presidential seasons greetings to all of you of any faith or
none! And in the true spirit of Christmas I’ve told everyone they can go
home an hour early on 24th December but don’t abuse the privilege or
it’ll be taken off you in 2015.
“Season’s Greetings from Your Vice(y) Chancellor & President”
It
has been a hard year for Bulster. Things have not quite worked out with
DEL and thanks to government cut-backs we are running a bit short of
money and students. We are having a few difficulties with our “Build
Belfast” campaign and those pesky property moguls keep upping the
“bakseesh” on us. I’ve even started to get worried about my own
properties and doubt I’ll ever get tenants for them. And even worse, the
Saudis owe us £2 million which I was relying on for a few readies at
Christmas, and many of Bulster’s emerging market investments have just
not emerged! In fact things are so bad I think I can now appreciate what
happened to my old friend Gerry Jameson, and I hope you can sympathise
how distressing it is for those of us in power when things go a bit
pear-shaped.The great thing is that at Bulster, we are all in this together and we are all making sacrifies to try to get Bulster back on its feet, and ready for your new dictator, sorry I mean new President. I myself have been making personal cut-backs. Where possible I’ve been making do with upper class rather than a sky-suite unless its a particularly long flight. I never use a hotel with more than 5*- no 7* opulent palaces for me, fellow Bulsters! Bulster never quite recovered from that time Gerry spent 25k on a weekend with the girls a la Peninsula in Hong Kong! And you can appreciate the great saving on booze alone during my time compared with Gerry has allowed us to put a penny or two by! Every little helps!
I
know some of you have been worried about the amount of money we’ve been
spending on legal bills and employment tribunals and this kind of
thing. Personally I think it would be far cheaper if we could just
assassinate these dissident members of staff, and an old mate I used to
run into in the Lodge Hotel even told me he knew a few boys who had quit
the paramilitary racket and were going free-lance. But my henchman “Mad
Bonnie” whose had a bit of a run in with the peelers recently himself,
tells me a shooting or two on campus might not look so good for our
post-conflict institute, so he’s persuaded me instead that selective
internment might be the thing to deal with these niggly complainers!
Those
of you who might be inclined to think of my past decade as a bit of a
black time, might take sympathy from what those CIA fellows said
recently defending torture and counter-terrorism. When Gerry blew the
budget on us, we all had our own terrible 9/11 here at University House.
Desperate times demand desperate remedies. And I also want to tell you
that all those stories about water-boarding and electric torture in the
Tower basement were greatly exaggerated. I never authorised “Mad Bonnie”
to use anything stronger than knuckle-dusters and in extremis his University-issued taser. Gee thanks to “Mad Bonnie” and me, Bulster’s a walking PANORAMA investigative report waiting to happen!
And
let me just squash that rumour that I’d closed the SCR to turn it into a
“listening post”. Don’t believe everything those lefty no-gooders in
the union might tell you. Most of them need a good kick up the arse!
Anyways we needed the SCR for all those Arab fellows with their special
diets, only they aren’t coming any more….I thought once they gave me a
magic carpet and a Rolex we were best mates, I even read a bit of the Quran in anticipation…Now they aren’t even answering my calls…..
Christmas
always makes me feel emotional. It hardly seems like yesterday that I
led the palace coup, and was full of excitement in my early days of
dictatorship. Believe me it gets lonely at the top. I spend far too much
time with “Mad Bonnie” and he really smells kinda garlicly of Sodium pentothal and
that other “truth serom” stuff he must have down there in the Bulster
dungeons. That banking fellow on Council is too smart for his own boots,
and Jimmy never returns my calls either. I suppose he might be off
somewhere on a Hobbit movie.
Recently
I’ve been asking myself what I’ve got to show for it? True I’ve had a
fat pay-packet for a while, a nice pad, luxury foreign travel and I’ve a
bit of pension for a rainy day- yeah a few millions worth! But QUB
laughed at me when I put in for their vacancy and to be honest I haven’t
made the short-list anywhere else. In fact I didn’t even get a reply
when I inquired about heading up a miserly FE college. And those buggers
in Stormont have blocked me from getting any medals, never mind a gong.
Even my cleaner has an MBE for some shitty Ballysally Community
initiative, and here I am a hard-working dictator and no-one’s thought
to award me anything.
Didn’t
my fellow dictator, President Idi Amin, have all sorts of medallions on
his uniform and wasn’t he just a humble Ugandan soldier? I’m wondering
if I should follow Idi’s example and go off into exile in one of those
Arab states. Maybe the Saudis would offer me some kind of retirement
post in lieu of the £2 Million they still owe Bulster! Life is
so hard for former dictators- I’m just remembering what happened to
that dead Chilean President, General Pinochet - it got to the stage where
he couldn’t leave the country for fear of rendition to some foreign
court in handcuffs! Gee I might end up like “Mad Bonnie” being
questioned by the local police or being stopped at the airport!
And
now I’m gonna have to get used to a life without servants and waiters
and all the perks that go with having a University Mansion. I’m gonna
have to down-size badly and maybe put some stuff into storage,
especially those Arab rugs and things- they’re so bulky, and not maybe
my best memory of good old Bulster! Gotta get things ready for the new
man…..Succession-planning we modern dictators call it. Better try to
make a start with that at the Christmas hols. “Bonnie’s” kindly offered
to lend me a hand if he’s out of work by then, and Dean Raisin gave me a
cup of tea and a bun yesterday- its good to have friends... now its only
me and the dog.And talking about dogs! I just can’t understand why thev’ve all gone and bitten me as I thought I was a good master. I was only just chatting to a few of the union boys in BA’s lounge last week (terrible the riff raff they let in these days) and we agreed it was all down to a couple of loud-mouths. After all Olly and the others bought the union off a long time ago. There’s hardly a true socialist among them apart maybe from that ideological girlie, and the union heavies have muscled her. Now even the footballers hate me and there’s talk the entire staff will boycott my farewell do, apart from of course “Bonnie” but he might have to get day-release to attend.
Well
I’d better get on with the rest of my Christmas cards. Let me sign off
now with Presidential seasons greetings to all of you of any faith or
none! And in the true spirit of Christmas I’ve told everyone they can go
home an hour early on 24th December but don’t abuse the privilege or
it’ll be taken off you in 2015.“Season’s Greetings from Your Vice(y) Chancellor & President”
President’s New Year’s Resolutions: “Beware of Saudis bearing gifts” - “Don’t trust a banker when he says he’s here to help” - “Watch your enemies, and your friends even closer” - “As ever, His Excellency Dicky”
ADVISORY….This is a work of humorous fiction and any similarities with persons or places real or imagined is purely a matter of coincidence. If you’ve been bullied at Bulster University or any F/HE institution don’t hesitate in complete confidence to E-MAIL: bullied.academics@yahoo.co.uk Victims may complain without penalty under their college procedures or consider making a complaint to their local police. Where the police are contacted bullying usually ceases immediately.
December 16, 2014
Bullying in higher education: it's time to hold the sector to account
The results of the Guardian higher education network’s survey
on bullying in higher education should give the entire sector cause to
worry about the competence and style of leaders and managers in the
sector.
As someone who has examined the equality policies and action plans of every institution in the UK in the last 12 years, I identify three key problems:
Management competence must be measured as much as anything else by senior managers’ capacity to demonstrate a knowledge of employment law and acceptable practice, and its convergence with equality and human rights legislation. They need to know how they would ensure that it forms the foundation on which they set about building and sustaining a culture of equity.
Rather than dealing with the offending conduct, institutions indulge in a form of back covering and self justification which blocks their ears to the messages that those suffering bullying wish to convey. Rather than holding managers to account for respecting the rights of employees, HR departments see it as their business to put a ring of steel around offending managers and ignore the duty of care the institution as employer has to those whom they bully.
Like schools and Ofsted, higher education appears to believe that the institution’s place in the REF (research excellence framework) league table is paramount and therefore whatever is done to achieve the highest assessment is justifiable, irrespective of the denial of rights and the damage it causes to individuals as differentiated by ethnicity, gender disability etc.
When employees exercise their right to challenge them externally, and the institutions capitulate and go for a compromise agreement, such agreements invariably come with a non-disclosure or gagging clause. Thus, the problem simply becomes embedded.
Too many institutions see it as being in their interest to settle out of court and avoid massive legal fees and the danger of being found guilty by an employment tribunal. But they also do this to silence the victims of such abuse in return for a pay off.
They very rarely go on to scrutinise the management conduct that led the victim to seek redress in the first place. Therefore, business goes on as usual. The institution and the offending manager learn nothing and have no incentive to review and alter their conduct, even though the career of the complainant is pretty much ruined by the time matters get to that stage, however hefty the pay out.
One would hope that this damning report would make the government review the criteria for granting external validation to the sector and re-examine the conditions upon which they continue to fund institutions to carry on with business as usual, especially having regard to the observations above.
Professor Gus John is a fellow of the london centre for leadership in learning at the Institute of Education and visiting faculty professor of education at the University of Strathclyde – follow him on Twitter @Gus_John
From: http://www.theguardian.com/higher-education-network/2014/dec/16/bullying-higher-education-university-managers
As someone who has examined the equality policies and action plans of every institution in the UK in the last 12 years, I identify three key problems:
1) University leaders put money ahead of learning
Vice-chancellors, provosts and principals are running institutions that see themselves more and more as corporations or conglomerates. They are not understanding that financial management and brand leadership should not displace the fact that universities are first and foremost learning communities – and that the principal function of education is to humanise society.Management competence must be measured as much as anything else by senior managers’ capacity to demonstrate a knowledge of employment law and acceptable practice, and its convergence with equality and human rights legislation. They need to know how they would ensure that it forms the foundation on which they set about building and sustaining a culture of equity.
2) HR protects senior management
Complaint procedures are often far too legalistic and bureaucratic and are not as responsive as they might be to the pain and hurt that staff routinely experience.Rather than dealing with the offending conduct, institutions indulge in a form of back covering and self justification which blocks their ears to the messages that those suffering bullying wish to convey. Rather than holding managers to account for respecting the rights of employees, HR departments see it as their business to put a ring of steel around offending managers and ignore the duty of care the institution as employer has to those whom they bully.
Like schools and Ofsted, higher education appears to believe that the institution’s place in the REF (research excellence framework) league table is paramount and therefore whatever is done to achieve the highest assessment is justifiable, irrespective of the denial of rights and the damage it causes to individuals as differentiated by ethnicity, gender disability etc.
3) Universities feel they are untouchable
Increasingly, these corporations believe that no one could hold them to account on issues to do with employment law, employee relations and their compliance with equality and human rights legislation. So, they bully staff in respect of other organisational goals and in the process contravene the very laws that are in place to protect people from such abusive conduct.When employees exercise their right to challenge them externally, and the institutions capitulate and go for a compromise agreement, such agreements invariably come with a non-disclosure or gagging clause. Thus, the problem simply becomes embedded.
Too many institutions see it as being in their interest to settle out of court and avoid massive legal fees and the danger of being found guilty by an employment tribunal. But they also do this to silence the victims of such abuse in return for a pay off.
They very rarely go on to scrutinise the management conduct that led the victim to seek redress in the first place. Therefore, business goes on as usual. The institution and the offending manager learn nothing and have no incentive to review and alter their conduct, even though the career of the complainant is pretty much ruined by the time matters get to that stage, however hefty the pay out.
Universities and gagging clauses
AcademicFOI.com report that over the last three years, 366 gagging clauses resulted from employment tribunal claims against universities that were settled prior to hearings. Those settlements involved payments to staff of £4.4m and legal costs of £7.1m. 810 staff submitted claims to employment tribunals for a range of alleged employment breaches, including bullying and harassment. Academic FOI.com says of non-disclosure agreements:“The exact wordings vary and are kept confidential but typically the member of staff signs their agreement not to discuss their settlement with anyone apart from immediate family or professional advisers. They also agree not to publicly criticise the university or discuss the dispute that led to the agreement being signed.”In the interviews and focus group discussions I have held with complainants in universities, however, everyone has pointed to the stress, mental distress and disruption they suffered before, during and after their decision to take their complaint to the employment tribunal. The institution insulates itself and moves on. Most complainants find it difficult if not impossible to do so with their health, reputation and careers “intact”.
One would hope that this damning report would make the government review the criteria for granting external validation to the sector and re-examine the conditions upon which they continue to fund institutions to carry on with business as usual, especially having regard to the observations above.
Professor Gus John is a fellow of the london centre for leadership in learning at the Institute of Education and visiting faculty professor of education at the University of Strathclyde – follow him on Twitter @Gus_John
From: http://www.theguardian.com/higher-education-network/2014/dec/16/bullying-higher-education-university-managers
December 15, 2014
Email sent by Martin Wilkins to Stefan Grimm - Imperial College
Email 1
Date: 10 March 2014
Dear Stefan
I am writing following our recent meetings in which we discussed your current grant support and the prospects for the immediate future. The last was our discussion around your PRDP, which I have attached.
As we discussed, any significant external funding you had has now ended. I know that you have been seeking further funding support with Charities such as CRUK and the EU commission but my concern is that despite submitting many grants, you have been unsuccessful in persuading peer-review panels that you have a competitive application. Your dedication to seek funding is not in doubt but as time goes by, this can risk becoming a difficult situation from which to extricate oneself. In other words, grant committees can become fatigued from seeing a series of unsuccessful applications from the same applicant.
I am of the opinion that you are struggling to fulfill the metrics of a Professorial post at Imperial College which include maintaining established funding in a programme of research with an attributable share of research spend of £200k p.a and must now start to give serious consideration as to whether you are performing at the expected level of a Professor at Imperial College.
Over the course of the next 12 months I expect you to apply and be awarded a programme grant as lead PI. This is the objective that you will need to achieve in order for your performance to be considered at an acceptable standard. I am committed to doing what I can to help you succeed and will meet with you monthly to discuss your progression and success in achieving the objective outlined. You have previously initiated discussions in our meetings regarding opportunities outside of Imperial College and I know you have been exploring opportunities elsewhere. Should this be the direction you wish to pursue, then I will do what I can to help you succeed.
Please be aware that this constitutes the start of informal action in relation to your performance, however should you fail to meet the objective outlined, I will need to consider your performance in accordance with the formal College procedure for managing issues of poor performance (Ordinance D8) which can be found at the following link. http://www3.imperial.ac.uk/secretariat/collegegovernance/provisions/ordinances/d8
Should you have any questions on the above, please do get in touch.
Best wishes
Martin
From: http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/news/imperial-college-professor-stefan-grimm-was-given-grant-income-target/2017369.article
Date: 10 March 2014
Dear Stefan
I am writing following our recent meetings in which we discussed your current grant support and the prospects for the immediate future. The last was our discussion around your PRDP, which I have attached.
As we discussed, any significant external funding you had has now ended. I know that you have been seeking further funding support with Charities such as CRUK and the EU commission but my concern is that despite submitting many grants, you have been unsuccessful in persuading peer-review panels that you have a competitive application. Your dedication to seek funding is not in doubt but as time goes by, this can risk becoming a difficult situation from which to extricate oneself. In other words, grant committees can become fatigued from seeing a series of unsuccessful applications from the same applicant.
I am of the opinion that you are struggling to fulfill the metrics of a Professorial post at Imperial College which include maintaining established funding in a programme of research with an attributable share of research spend of £200k p.a and must now start to give serious consideration as to whether you are performing at the expected level of a Professor at Imperial College.
Over the course of the next 12 months I expect you to apply and be awarded a programme grant as lead PI. This is the objective that you will need to achieve in order for your performance to be considered at an acceptable standard. I am committed to doing what I can to help you succeed and will meet with you monthly to discuss your progression and success in achieving the objective outlined. You have previously initiated discussions in our meetings regarding opportunities outside of Imperial College and I know you have been exploring opportunities elsewhere. Should this be the direction you wish to pursue, then I will do what I can to help you succeed.
Please be aware that this constitutes the start of informal action in relation to your performance, however should you fail to meet the objective outlined, I will need to consider your performance in accordance with the formal College procedure for managing issues of poor performance (Ordinance D8) which can be found at the following link. http://www3.imperial.ac.uk/secretariat/collegegovernance/provisions/ordinances/d8
Should you have any questions on the above, please do get in touch.
Best wishes
Martin
From: http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/news/imperial-college-professor-stefan-grimm-was-given-grant-income-target/2017369.article
December 11, 2014
Bulster Uni’s Bullying Boffins
Last time we “named and shamed” Bulster’s notorious VC “Tricky Dicky”
and his HR gopher-torturer, “Mad Bonnie”. We offered an expose of the
mediocre former nurses, school teachers, administrators and policy
“chancers” who make up the senior management team at Bulster University.
The
local UCU branch and many of their staff have argued that top
management have been so consistently ineffective over decades that the
only way Dicky could keep his multi-campus Gulag archipelago together, was through bullying at every level of this depressing institution.
Since this misery is inflicted on Bulster University staff and students and offered to the public on the bank-rolling of public money, our readers are entitled to quiz the evidence of public shame in this province where one might have thought the lofty European Declaration of Human Rights might apply? Why is public money being wasted on a failed university? And why are the moguls of Bulster University apparently so unaccountable? With a HR Chief like Bonnie, Arthur Cox Solicitors are the current in a long line of lawyers kept busy for Bulster University!
Among universities in the UK and Ireland, Bulster University has consistently been among the worst for harassment of staff, and for work-place stress. It has among the highest rates of staff bringing cases to Industrial Tribunal and has been the subject of a number of successful landmark employment discrimination and bullying cases. Bulster University’s track-record for industrial relations is so bad the mild-mannered University and College Union which supposedly represents most academic staff believe Bulster University is “off the scale” on bullying and harassment of staff and needs a whole new category beyond just “grey-listing”.
In
regard to its internal reconciliation of industrial conflict Bulster
University employs its own watch-dog or “University Visitor”, normally a
senior legal figure, but whose terms of reference make him or her a de-facto
employee of the University and who staff believe takes instructions
directly from the university administration. Under such a procedures the
Visitor, a person who is supposed to be genuinely independent and to
represent the Monarch in the interests of fair-play, could be no more
than an apology for an academic dictatorship.
Recently these luke-warm powers have been weakened and the Royal Visitor cannot now address employment issues. It is a sad indictment of Bulster that it’s Legal Head “Olly” Mac is embroiled in a legal battle against the University.
This has involved Olly being suspended from his post on several occasions and has placed him in head-on conflict with the “uber dictator” his line manager, the universities Director of Torture and Execution, “Mad Bonnie”. And for those who might feel some sympathy for Olly getting a touch of his own nasty medicine, one should not forget this legal supremo has “ducked and dived”, and allegedly “lied and falsified” over decades of Industrial Tribunals brought by the University’s desperately immiserated academic staff. Never reluctant to wield the knife against his employees, it is a safe bet to say that nasty Olly is just now getting it in his own ass!
We can also report that Olly’s boss, “Mad Bonnie”, may himself be on his last days at the University. Subject to final disciplinary warning for bullying and threats, Bonnie is now under police investigation for criminal harassment and misconduct in public office. What also seems likely is that once Dicky’s ship finally sinks, Bonnie will be drowned with the other senior managements rats.
What implications has all this bullying for academic standards at Bulster University? Well for the malaise of plummeting academic standards in every league table we must attribute a good deal of blame to the University’s Provosts and academic deans who have been the enforcers of the college torture chambers. One thinks in particular of former Coleraine Provosts, Mal Blunt and Robbo “The Hutch”, both well remembered for their over-use of “Mad” Ronnie and his HR heavies.
Not
quite s dazzling as the famous “TV cops”, our Campus Provosts “Blunt
and Hutch” had no scruples about bulldozing their colleagues along the
way. In the process this duo became infamous for allowing large-scale
closure of their programmes and singularly advancing their mediocre
academic careers. Blunt
was especially loathed by staff for his KGB-style web monitoring and
“cyber-trolling” of academics. Perhaps more famous for sporting prowess
than genuine scholarship, Blunt predictably turned campus management
into a “game sport”.
After a week or two of “Blunt’s KGB treatment” his line-employees were cornered like rabbits in a flash-light. “Hutch” who had a less than stellar career as an economist is probably better known for being “economical with the truth” at college disciplinary and employment tribunal proceedings.
At most universities deans are custodians of collegiate knowledge. Bulster University is singularly unique in maintaining a deanship enforcing University House policy across the campus archipelago. Names which come to mind among corporate tsars include an Arts Dean whose life-hero is probably Polish General Jaruzelski, the former Communist supremo who imposed martial law to crush the Solidarity democracy movement.
Under Bulster’s own General, the Arts faculty has been reduced to shreds, its courses and staff dislocated across the archipelago and academic morale in ruins. Great Arts course that worked well in cultural cities like Derry were closed down while new ventures in scientific areas like Pharmacy, Veterinary Science and Microbiology have yet to deliver!
In Bulster academic leadership is less of a deanship and more of a dictatorial tsar-ship! Then we have the recently elevated Milly Dick whose gaff in accepting hundreds of unqualified students did not prevent him making Pro-VC…a truly Ulster illustration of the corporate American saying “f..k up and get kicked up…”
Then
we have the over-promoted Dean Raisin in Life Sciences famously
ridiculed as Dicky’s most loyal dunce. Ms Raisin has wasted no time in
joining Dicky in the international “cookie trough”. With Dicky she was among about a dozen Bulster boffins accepting substantial gifts from Saudi educational institutions (who now owe Bulster over £2m in unpaid fees).
Ranging from Rolexes, scarves and rugs, these might be interpreted as expensive “kick-backs” which the Senior Executive Team Minutes show resulted ultimately in a teminated contract, a £2 Million loss and the bizairre reality of a heavily indebted Bulster educating rich Saudi students at full cost to the local tax-payer. The Bulster managers got their gold watches, the university lost money, the tax-payer footed the bill, and local Northern Ireland students suffered from the short-fall.
Finally we have Social Sciences golden man, and rumored to be Dicky’s confidante, Micky Paul, whose rush to power shows how a Kingston boy can make a few talents go a long way. And as his leader is about to bow out as Bulster VC it is rumored that Dicky is also about to “come out “about his sexual identity.
These gossiped revelations recall those of a former Ulster University Education Chief whose personal sex-change journey would have been viewed more sympathetically even by Ulster’s “religious far-right” management had she not also been a bullying maniac. In true Ulster Christian fashion they allegedly ordered her thereafter to use the disabled toilets!
So
that’s all for now from our Dictator at Bulster University. Next time
we’ll take a look at what it’s genuinely like to be in one of Bulster
University’s torture chambers, and we’ll see if the keepers of the
torture machine, Dictator Dicky and “Mad Bonnie”, will finally get their
just deserts. Who knows maybe this would not be the first time Dicky
and Bonnie have worn handcuffs!
ADVISORY… This is a work of humorous fiction and any similarities with persons or places real or imagined is purely a matter of coincidence. If you’ve been bullied at Bulster University or any F/HE institution don’t hesitate in complete confidence to E-MAIL: bullied.academics@yahoo.co.uk Victims may complain without penalty under their college procedures or consider making a complaint to their local police. Where the police are contacted bullying usually ceases immediately.
The
local UCU branch and many of their staff have argued that top
management have been so consistently ineffective over decades that the
only way Dicky could keep his multi-campus Gulag archipelago together, was through bullying at every level of this depressing institution.Since this misery is inflicted on Bulster University staff and students and offered to the public on the bank-rolling of public money, our readers are entitled to quiz the evidence of public shame in this province where one might have thought the lofty European Declaration of Human Rights might apply? Why is public money being wasted on a failed university? And why are the moguls of Bulster University apparently so unaccountable? With a HR Chief like Bonnie, Arthur Cox Solicitors are the current in a long line of lawyers kept busy for Bulster University!
Among universities in the UK and Ireland, Bulster University has consistently been among the worst for harassment of staff, and for work-place stress. It has among the highest rates of staff bringing cases to Industrial Tribunal and has been the subject of a number of successful landmark employment discrimination and bullying cases. Bulster University’s track-record for industrial relations is so bad the mild-mannered University and College Union which supposedly represents most academic staff believe Bulster University is “off the scale” on bullying and harassment of staff and needs a whole new category beyond just “grey-listing”.
In
regard to its internal reconciliation of industrial conflict Bulster
University employs its own watch-dog or “University Visitor”, normally a
senior legal figure, but whose terms of reference make him or her a de-facto
employee of the University and who staff believe takes instructions
directly from the university administration. Under such a procedures the
Visitor, a person who is supposed to be genuinely independent and to
represent the Monarch in the interests of fair-play, could be no more
than an apology for an academic dictatorship.Recently these luke-warm powers have been weakened and the Royal Visitor cannot now address employment issues. It is a sad indictment of Bulster that it’s Legal Head “Olly” Mac is embroiled in a legal battle against the University.
This has involved Olly being suspended from his post on several occasions and has placed him in head-on conflict with the “uber dictator” his line manager, the universities Director of Torture and Execution, “Mad Bonnie”. And for those who might feel some sympathy for Olly getting a touch of his own nasty medicine, one should not forget this legal supremo has “ducked and dived”, and allegedly “lied and falsified” over decades of Industrial Tribunals brought by the University’s desperately immiserated academic staff. Never reluctant to wield the knife against his employees, it is a safe bet to say that nasty Olly is just now getting it in his own ass!
We can also report that Olly’s boss, “Mad Bonnie”, may himself be on his last days at the University. Subject to final disciplinary warning for bullying and threats, Bonnie is now under police investigation for criminal harassment and misconduct in public office. What also seems likely is that once Dicky’s ship finally sinks, Bonnie will be drowned with the other senior managements rats.
What implications has all this bullying for academic standards at Bulster University? Well for the malaise of plummeting academic standards in every league table we must attribute a good deal of blame to the University’s Provosts and academic deans who have been the enforcers of the college torture chambers. One thinks in particular of former Coleraine Provosts, Mal Blunt and Robbo “The Hutch”, both well remembered for their over-use of “Mad” Ronnie and his HR heavies.
Not
quite s dazzling as the famous “TV cops”, our Campus Provosts “Blunt
and Hutch” had no scruples about bulldozing their colleagues along the
way. In the process this duo became infamous for allowing large-scale
closure of their programmes and singularly advancing their mediocre
academic careers. Blunt
was especially loathed by staff for his KGB-style web monitoring and
“cyber-trolling” of academics. Perhaps more famous for sporting prowess
than genuine scholarship, Blunt predictably turned campus management
into a “game sport”.After a week or two of “Blunt’s KGB treatment” his line-employees were cornered like rabbits in a flash-light. “Hutch” who had a less than stellar career as an economist is probably better known for being “economical with the truth” at college disciplinary and employment tribunal proceedings.
At most universities deans are custodians of collegiate knowledge. Bulster University is singularly unique in maintaining a deanship enforcing University House policy across the campus archipelago. Names which come to mind among corporate tsars include an Arts Dean whose life-hero is probably Polish General Jaruzelski, the former Communist supremo who imposed martial law to crush the Solidarity democracy movement.
Under Bulster’s own General, the Arts faculty has been reduced to shreds, its courses and staff dislocated across the archipelago and academic morale in ruins. Great Arts course that worked well in cultural cities like Derry were closed down while new ventures in scientific areas like Pharmacy, Veterinary Science and Microbiology have yet to deliver!
In Bulster academic leadership is less of a deanship and more of a dictatorial tsar-ship! Then we have the recently elevated Milly Dick whose gaff in accepting hundreds of unqualified students did not prevent him making Pro-VC…a truly Ulster illustration of the corporate American saying “f..k up and get kicked up…”
Then
we have the over-promoted Dean Raisin in Life Sciences famously
ridiculed as Dicky’s most loyal dunce. Ms Raisin has wasted no time in
joining Dicky in the international “cookie trough”. With Dicky she was among about a dozen Bulster boffins accepting substantial gifts from Saudi educational institutions (who now owe Bulster over £2m in unpaid fees). Ranging from Rolexes, scarves and rugs, these might be interpreted as expensive “kick-backs” which the Senior Executive Team Minutes show resulted ultimately in a teminated contract, a £2 Million loss and the bizairre reality of a heavily indebted Bulster educating rich Saudi students at full cost to the local tax-payer. The Bulster managers got their gold watches, the university lost money, the tax-payer footed the bill, and local Northern Ireland students suffered from the short-fall.
Finally we have Social Sciences golden man, and rumored to be Dicky’s confidante, Micky Paul, whose rush to power shows how a Kingston boy can make a few talents go a long way. And as his leader is about to bow out as Bulster VC it is rumored that Dicky is also about to “come out “about his sexual identity.
These gossiped revelations recall those of a former Ulster University Education Chief whose personal sex-change journey would have been viewed more sympathetically even by Ulster’s “religious far-right” management had she not also been a bullying maniac. In true Ulster Christian fashion they allegedly ordered her thereafter to use the disabled toilets!
Ousted from Ulster, she went on to be removed
for further bullying in Scotland. Well if indeed Dicky become one of our
first VC’s to come out as part of the LGBTI community, this might well
be one of his most honest actions at Bulster. But if announcement
follows the rumor mill, Dicky is likely to be compared negatively with
Thames Valley Uni’s flamboyant ear-ringed, pony-tailed bully Mike
Fitzgerald (pictured here) who finally resigned after a devastating
watchdog’s report said that degree standards at TVU could no longer be
guaranteed. Echoes of Dicky in Bulster although “Tricky Dicky’s” suits
are somewhat more sober and one doubts he’d ever get an ear-ring!
ADVISORY… This is a work of humorous fiction and any similarities with persons or places real or imagined is purely a matter of coincidence. If you’ve been bullied at Bulster University or any F/HE institution don’t hesitate in complete confidence to E-MAIL: bullied.academics@yahoo.co.uk Victims may complain without penalty under their college procedures or consider making a complaint to their local police. Where the police are contacted bullying usually ceases immediately.
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