June 11, 2010

Why mediation does not work...

Because of the serial bully's Jekyll and Hyde nature, compulsive lying, charm and plausibility, the validity of this person's testimony cannot be relied on in disciplinary proceedings, appeal hearings, and under oath at tribunal and in court. Emphasise this when taking action.

Mediation with this type of individual is inappropriate. Serial bullies regard mediation (and arbitration, conciliation, negotiation etc) as appeasement, which they ruthlessly exploit; it allows them to give the impression in public that they are negotiating and being conciliatory, whilst in private they continue the bullying. The lesson of the twentieth century is that you do not appease aggressors.

The disordered thinking processes of the criminal / antisocial mind are succinctly described in Stanton E Samenow's book 'Straight talk about criminals'. For example:

"Certain people who I term non-arrestable criminals behave criminally towards others , but they are sufficiently fearful [and knowledgeable of the law] so that they do not commit major crimes. We all know them: individuals who shamelessly use others to gain advantage for themselves. Having little empathy, they single-mindedly pursue their objectives and have little remorse for the injuries they inflict. If others take them to task, they become indignant and self-righteous and blame circumstances. Such people share much in common with the person who makes crime a way of life. Although they may not have broken the law, they nonetheless victimize others." (Chapter 8, The criminal mind exists independent of particular laws, culture or customs)

In Samenow's 1984 book 'Inside the criminal mind' he uses this description:

"Some criminals are smooth rather than contentious, ingratiating rather than surly, devious rather than intimidating. They pretend to be interested in what others say. Appearing to invite suggestions, they inwardly dismiss each idea without considering its merits. They seem to take criticism in stride but ignore it and spitefully make mental note of who the critic was. They misuse authority and betray trust but are not blatant about doing so. With the criminal at the helm, employee morale deteriorates. His method of operation sooner or later discourages others from proposing innovative ideas and developing creative solutions." (Chapter 6, Work and the criminal)

From: http://www.bullyonline.org

3 comments:

Beauty and Health Editor said...

Yes, compulsive lying springs to mind. When I took up a grievance against my ex-Manager at LSBU, this woman was lying through her teeth.

Of course she got the whole department to back her up as well. Besides, most of the time people are afraid of going against the grain because they are scared of losing their jobs.

Howevr, I personally have nothing to lose. LSBU is an organisation full of bullies, in fact as I would go as far as saying that this organisation has bullying as part of its culture.

Many people know who the bullies are, but turn a blind eye to it, probably because it doesn't affect them directly.

Beauty and Health Editor said...

In fact, when my Manager called me to the office to tell me that she was not signing off my probation, I then told her that she was not a fair person and that I would be taking the matter as far as it would go.

She then told me that I should have said this before she signed off my papers. Basically, this woman knew that she had been unfair in her dealings with me, otherwise why would she make such a statement? Guilt perhaps?

Besides, the department where I worked had a very high staff turn-over, possibly because most people could not get along with that bullying manager and tyrant.

I must say that working with her at LSBU was a complete nightmare and I'm not the only one who felt this way.

Anonymous said...

Yes David Tann at Lsbu is a tyrant also. He is feared by the whole department. He is completely out of his depth. He thinks management tools are a spreadsheet and his finger. The sad thing is that I don't think he even knows he is bullying half the time. There was a staff survey that identified 50% of his dept as being bullied. He then went on a witch hunt to identify the cause.