October 16, 2008

University Administrators

In 1997, Hector Hammerly set down a long list of characterizations of university administrators. Below are ten of them.

These administrators, Hammerly said:
  1. Put their pants on one leg at a time, like everybody else, but think it would be demeaning to acknowledge it;

  2. Know as much about planning, budgeting, human relations, and conflict resolution as a pit bull;

  3. Have "zero tolerance" for others and total tolerance for themselves;

  4. Listen to professors attentively and graciously, like a cat listens to a canary;

  5. Believe there's no need for any democratic nonsense between rubber-stamp ballots;

  6. See "leadership" as looking down upon, sitting on top of, and stepping all over;

  7. Always support each other against those they fancy their "enemy" — faculty, staff, and students, no less;

  8. Have policies for every conceivable situation and regulations for every conceivable activity, but ignore them all when convenient;

  9. Are power-addicted, fairness-innocent, apology-challenged, and freedom-averse;

  10. Cow faculty members into not helping each other — which would be the professors' only hope for shaking off the yoke.
From: http://arts.uwaterloo.ca/~kwesthue/hhammerly.htm

And, we had an anonymous contribution for number 11:

11. Establish and maintain a network of informants amongst the staff to not only report on dissenters but also apprentice as future administrators.

Do we have any contributions for number 12?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

11. Establish and maintain a network of informants amongst the staff to not only report on dissenters but also apprentice as future administrators.

Anonymous said...

12. Always wage war on one's opponents in the staff by proxy using students (such as through evaluations), claiming that any action taken against such staff members is for the "good of the students".