June 08, 2008

I've seen it happen to others...

I've seen it happen to others, it also happened to me. No place to run or hide, or nobody who supports me. Thought of suicide, but then the anger creeps upon me. Why do I stay in this environment, only until I get my PhD. But then what, I think. Do I want to stay in this ugliness forever? By ending up in humanities, my life is confined to what can only be described as a living hell. Pathetic losers who call themselves professors. Go get a life, I say, or will I end up like them. The fear just eats me up, and again, the bullying starts all over again...

Anonymous

2 comments:

Stuart said...

Can you structure your life, location, work, activites and hobbies to maximise your social contacts away from the department, minimising your interactions to the bare minimum to complete your thesis? A PhD only has one grade and, apart from any lab or teaching requirements, no assessment of your performance makes the slightest difference to the outcome if you aren't seeking postdoc employment there.

Concentrate on what gives you pleasure in life. Stress and depression really close in the perception of the world, magnifying the ugliness of the immediate.

Anonymous said...

Find at least 1 person in the world who you trust and who can help you through this right now. I have been where you are. Try not to make long term plans right now. Sometimes I did not know how I would get through the day or month. If you are really suicidal, seek help NOW-see a therapist. Get good rest and make sure you stay physically active, walks or exercise. Take care of yourself!